Your Fun Headquarters

Your Fun Headquarters -

Foods and Drinks to Avoid on Dates

dating, coffee, garlic, beansDates can be incredible fun, but we would be dishonest if we said they were not also stressful. Once you have gone on a few more dates with the same person, you tend to fret less. However, the foods and drinks you order on a date may cause further mishaps for you.

Beans are a HUGE no-no, for obvious reasons. Not only do beans have a certain unsavory side effect, but they can also bloat you. If you order a meal that includes beans, eat only a small amount to mitigate their effects.

Garlic can also cause you problems. Not only will garlic’s smell stay in your mouth long after you have finished eating, the herb absorbs into your bloodstream and pores. Keep any garlic to a minimum if you cannot avoid it completely.

Drinkwise, be careful about coffee. Coffee dates are very popular, but unfortunately coffee can stain your teeth. Coffee breath can be difficult to get rid of quickly. If you go on a coffee date, try an iced coffee beverage. This way, you can use a straw and keep the coffee from getting on your teeth! Also order a water on the side so you can sip it along with your coffee. It rinses out your mouth and helps combat the dreaded coffee breath.

 

Treasure the Triangle

triangle

We have all been there. We have teenage daughters and it is time to have “the talk” with them. Mine went something like this: Here are the brochures from Planned Parenthood. These are the diseases you can get if you don’t practice safe sex. Sex is wonderful, but only when you are old enough to appreciate what is happening. Don’t do it if it doesn’t feel right. The standard, blah, blah, blah stuff you hear parents spouting as they are praying their kid doesn’t take after them.

I have to say, this last week, during drinks with my friends K and M, I got a huge case of the giggles. K and D were explaining to their daughter about how she needed to “Treasure the Triangle” after learning she has a boyfriend. Poor little thing, super sweet, good as gold, and NOT anywhere near ready to have sex. However, upon learning about treasuring the triangle, from both parents, I am sure she is even LESS ready to have the sex act occur.

Which brings me to this: Ladies, do you treasure your triangle? Do you think, just because you are not a virgin, that you must not place a certain amount of “holy grail” to your girl area? I challenge all of you to TREASURE YOUR TRIANGLE! Don’t just be giving it out there. Respect the Triangle, too.

Thoughts?

Regifting and the Tongue Vibrator

regifting

After an enormously entertaining dinner with my cousins one night, I found out a couple of things. One, we are a family of fun-loving freaks. Two, we all re-gift — even adult novelties.

When we first opened, J got a Lingo as one of her party gifts. It is a snazzy little device, it slides on your tongue, and is used for oral sex. If I can figure out how to upload the pic, you will see it here.

Anyway, J was the very first home party I had ever done. You have read some of the stories here. As a home party hostess, you get really cool prizes/gifts/whatever you want to call them. Turns out, I am not the only regifter in the family. J had a bachelorette party to go to, the bride was a lesbian, and this seemed like the perfect gift for them to have.

I apologize ahead of time if you were the recipient of said gift. It is really a cool toy. Gives just the right amount of buzz while your partner is going down on you.

Enjoy!

I Can’t Handle the Nipples!

nipplesOk, now that I have your attention, just what the hell am I talking about? My business partner and I were discussing the underwire in a bra today and I explained to her that I hate underwire bras. HATE THEM! Her response: “I don’t hate them until one of the underwires gets wonky. Then I hate them a lot.” My explanation to her was very simple — cut the wires out and problem solved.

I will tell you that it is at this point that I let her know that one of the perks of augmentation (pun intended) is that you really don’t need to wear a bra. Until it comes to the nipples. I don’t care who you are, I can’t deal with the nipple showing through a top. I don’t care if you are Rihanna or my sister, I can’t handle the nipple. As we are wiping the tears from our eyes from laughing so hard, she said we should do a poll on the blog on how other’s feel about this.

So, here it is: Can you handle the nipple?

Feel free to discuss.